complications

When life starts to get bad should we run away and hide, NO. Should we turn against the ones who have always been there for us, No. Should we change who we are, NO. But that is what we tend to do, we tend to change our identity, desires, and wants, based on what is going on around us. However there is someone that never changes and He is the almighty, all powerful, all knowing, never ending, He is the one in control and He is the Lord, Savior, and Father Jesus Christ. There have been many complications in my life in the last couple of months...almost a year. My brother has been through a lot and he has almost been in a hospital for a year now. He was first at Duke, then Levine, and now he is at Michigan and they are trying to get him stable enough to transport him back to Duke to to have a quality of life and just wait to die. I havent been around him to see all the complications that have occurred because when he was first at Duke there were restrictions on who was allowed in the hospital. However yesterday July 2nd I was around to experience two complications. My family was out having lunch while my brother was getting his dialysis treatment, and when we got back we walked into his room which was chaotic. There were many nurses trying to fix the machine and figure out what to do, because the water in the machine stopped working, so the treatment had to be stopped and they had to give him his blood back. As soon as that machine was out another nurse was rolling in an x-ray machine. Then things started to calm back down and Raymond started to interact a little more. Then right before we were about to go get some food I notice that Raymond was bleeding from his bottom, and that started around 7ish or so. The blood wouldnt stop coming as soon as some of it was cleaned up there would be more. We were measuring every little drop that we possibly could. The doctors ended up having to give him 2 bags of red blood cells along with two other blood products to help the bleeding to stop. We had many nurses come in and try and figure out why he was bleeding and what was causing it, and we did some more x-rays. The bleeding did not stop till well after 3 I believe, but I left to go back to the Ronald McDonald House because I was so tired and I wanted to get some sleep so I could help Raymond the next day and I knew that he was in good hands. I came back to the hospital around 9ish this morning, and things have definitely calmed down a lot, and Raymond seems to be a little more comfortable. There have also been other complications that have occurred in my life. I have had to learn how to juggle going to college, along with working full time at ITB, being a parent, and a adult who is in charge of the house, and also having my first serious relationship all at once. The experiences that I have been given over this time have been excellent and bad all at the same time. I have had to learn how to manage my time and get everything done, how to be patient, understanding, forgiving, grateful, and much more. I have learned what a true friend should be, and what I need to do in order to be that kind of friend. I have changed over the past couple of months and I can say that I am love who I am becoming. I have fallen in love with myself and it has taken a long time to get to that point but the experience of realizing it was absolutely amazing, but it was all because of God. I have also fallen more in love with God and have put more faith and trust in him which has helped me be content with what is occurring in my life. I am loving my "new" life, and the "new" me. I do not want to go back to the old me where I wasnt loving myself, or treating my friends how I shouldnt be, and not giving my time to God.