HERO TODAY GONE TOM.

SO TONIGHT I REALIZED THAT PEOPLE WHO I USED TO TRUST AND CONSIDER A HERO TO ME ARE NOT WHO I THOUGHT THEY WERE.  I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED BY OTHERS TONIGHT, BUT ALSO IN MYSELF.  I ALLOWED OTHER PEOPLES WISHES AND DESIRES FOR ME DICTATE MY CHOICES INSTEAD OF PUTTING WHAT GOD WANTS FIRST.  I KNOW THAT PEOPLE CHANGE OVER TIME....BUT I NEVER EXPECTED ONE OF MY HERO'S TO GO FROM ONE EXTREME TO ANOTHER AND IT REALLY MADE ME QUESTION THINGS.  ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THAT I AM THANKFUL THAT CHRIST CAME AND GAVE HIS BLOOD FOR ME SO THAT I COULD BE SAVED AND CAN SAY THAT I AM A CHRISTIAN.  WITHOUT CHRIST MY HEART WOULDNT BEAT THE SAME AND I JUST HOPE THAT I STAY ON HIS PATH THAT HE HAS PLANNED OUT FOR ME.  <3 YOU FATHER! 

FUTURE HUSBAND

SO I KNOW THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP BUT THERE ARE JUST A FEW THINGS THAT I WANT/EXPECT OUT OF A FUTURE HUSBAND:
1. I WANT TO KNOW THAT WE CAN TRUST ONE ANOTHER
2. I WANT US TO BE OPEN AND HONEST WITH ONE ANOTHER
3. I WANT OUR RELATIONSHIP TO BE FOR GOD...SO I WANT TO SPEND TIME PRAYING, READING THE BIBLE, AND JUST TALKING ABOUT GOD WITH HIM
4. I WANT TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH HIM....JUST TALKING AND GETTING TO KNOW HIM
5. I WANT US TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE WHEN IT COMES TO PARENTING AND HOW WE ARE GOING TO MANAGE OUR HOUSE AND MONEY
6.  I WANT TO SERVE THE COMMUNITY WITH HIM
7. I WANT HIM TO BE WILLING AND WANTING TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME
8. I WANT HIM TO LOVE ME FOR ME AND ALL THE STUPID THINGS I DO
9. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO ACT SILLY AND STUPID AROUND HIM AT TIMES
10. MOST IMPORTANTLY I WANT US TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS FOR GOD AND IS LOVING

BOUNDARIES......TO BE HONEST I HAVE HAD BE CONSISTENTLY THINKING ABOUT MY BOUNDARIES FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT NOW....WHAT THEY ARE....WHAT THEY SHOULD BE....WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN.....IF I HAVE EVER COMPROMISED MY BOUNDARIES FOR SOMEONE ELSE.....I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I WILL....NO LONGER SIT ON ANYONE ELSE'S LAP OTHER THAN THE PERSON I AM WITH.....THAT I WILL NOT ALLOW MYSELF OR MY PARTNER TO KISS IN FRONT OF OTHERS (UNLESS WE ARE GETTING ENGAGED OR IT IS OUR WEDDING OF COURSE)......THAT WHEN I AM AT CHURCH IT IS TIME FOR ME AND GOD...NOT TIME FOR "RELATIONSHIP TIME"-OTHER THAN BUILDING FRIENDSHIPS WITH OTHERS BY SHOWING AND DISCUSSING WHAT GOD IS DOING IN OUR LIFE....I WILL NOT PUT MYSELF IN A SITUATION THAT COULD BE HARMFUL TO ME OR OTHERS....SO I WILL ONLY GO OUT WITH ANOTHER MALE THAT I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH UNLESS I HAVE OTHER PEOPLE TO GO WITH ME AND HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE....I WILL ONLY BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN INDIVIDUAL THAT WANTS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO RISK MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IN ORDER TO BE IN A REALTIONSHIP WITH A GUY...I WILL NEVER SMOKE...THE ONLY TIME I WILL CONSIDER DRINKING WOULD BE AT MY WEDDING (AND THEN MAYBE 1 GLASS OF RED WINE A MONTH BECAUSE IT IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEART...BUT THAT WOULD BE MY ONLY REASON AND I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO DRINK ANY ALCOHOL)...I AM STILL IN THE PROCESS OF THINKING OF MY BOUNDARIES AND WILL BE ADDING ON TO THEM BUT TO START SOMEWHERE IS GOOD

I TRULY HAVE THE BESTFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND EVER.  
I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE DUKE IN 
MY LIFE THAT HOLDS ME ACCOUNTABLE AND VALUES
HAVING GOD IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.  I WOULDNT WANT 
TO BE WITH ANYONE BUT HIM.  HE MAKES ME VERY HAPPY
ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM HAVING A HARD DAY.  HE IS
ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.  HE HAS HELPED ME IN MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HEAVENLY FATHER.  
HE LISTENS TO ME, AND ALLOWS ME TO BE MYSELF.  
I LOVE THAT I CAN TRUST HIM AND TELL HIM ANYTHING. 

Haiti

I am going to Haiti June 11th: which is Raymond's birthday.  I am excited but I have no idea what is in store for me or what I will experience; but I cannot wait to go. 

my pre-k room
after i changed some things up :)

 i love my bestfriends!

I don’t want a perfect relationship. I just want someone who I can act myself with, someone who treats me right and loves being with me. Most importantly I want to be with a man that I can trust and have a godly relationship with.   

Word

My word for this year is: ACTIVE

the reason i choose this word is because i have a hard time being active in conversations, i am sometimes absent in my realtionships, and i have not been that active in my prayer life or my journey with God so i thought it would be a good way to help me focus more in those areas i am also going to work on being more active physically so that i can honor my body the way that God wants me to. 

New Year

As 2010 is coming to an end I am starting to think about this upcoming year and the things that I want to accomplish.  Instead of setting a new years resolution this year I have decided that I am going to choose one word that I am going to focus on this upcoming year.

Example: presence:  I will be more present in the room, more present with my friends and relationships, have a more present relationship with God etc.

Some words that I have come up with so far but have not narrowed it down yet:

-loving
-forgiving
-patient
-giving
-peaceful
-hope
-accountable 

*My goal is that I will use the word to better myself, relationships with others and God, and to better my workplace.  Of course I know that it will be hard to do through out the whole year but I have wonderful friends that are going to hold me accountable and keep me on the right track. 

My Life

Things that I am loving about my life:
*My amazing friends that support me through hard times*My wonderful, generous, supportive, caring,....the list goes on boyfriend
*That even though my brother is not physically with me he is always watching over me and is no longer in pain
*I teach wonderful students
*I am almost done with my associates in Early Childhood
*I go to an amazing church: Crossroads Fellowship
*I have a family
*I have a car
*I have a house
*I have water to drink and food to eat
*I have clothes
*I have money
*I have a dog

love for a unknown child

Ever since I was around 11 I have wanted to adopt a child. I do not remember exactly how this idea came into my head other than that God has been showing me and getting me excited about adopting a child in the future. I know that this is something that God wants me to do because I used to be turned off by the idea, but I am now extremely excited about the fact that there might be a child out there that God wants to put in my life to call me mommy and for me to spoil him or her in love. There have been many times now where I have seen an image of a child in my head but I cant make it out fully, and all I can think about is what is their name, do they have loving parents, is there anything I could do for him/her, and the thought of the possibility that the child could be mine in the future just takes my breath away. All I can do is wait and see what God's plan is in my life.

My reasons to adopt:
-to show the child love
-to give a child a better opportunity
-to take care of one of God's children
-to see a smile on a child's face
-to make memories with someone that I will love
-to teach a child about God who may not have known or wanted to know because
of their situation
-to just be there for someone in need

My Challenges

There are many things that I am not perfect at but I am working on them

• Communication
• Grammar
  
• Driving
  
• Time Management
  
• Organization
  
• Being Open With Others
• Math Skills
  
• My Thoughts About Myself
  
• Being Strong In Hard Situations
  
• Caring More About Others
  
• My Teaching Skills
  
• Patience
  
• Taking My Time
  
• Thinking Before I Talk
  
• Writing Skills
  
• Understanding Others
  
• Sense Of Direction
• Anger Management
  

Homework :(

I know that teachers do not have enough time in the day to teach all the material that they are required to, so they give their students homework....and most of the time it is to much. Kindergartners are now coming home and spending about 30 minutes on homework instead of spending that time being a child. I never really learned anything from doing a worksheet other than the fact that I did not like to do them, and that school was not fun. I think that if a teacher is going to give out homework, they should first make sure that the students know the material well enough to be able to attempt the material. I also believe that homework should not always be worksheets, but should be learning experiences. Teachers should come up with creative ways to have their students reinforce the material at home. Teachers can come up with more creative ways to have students do homework if they think of all the multiple intelligences. I remember some of my favorite school projects/learning experiences was when I got to go outside or do a hands on activity. I have always learned best when I was able to do a hands on activity, or do an activity outside. I think teachers need to consider their students schedules and not bombarded them with so much homework that they do not have time to be a well rounded individual.

parents love

a question to ponder:
Do all parents love their children?
I have been thinking about it from many angles and
I would probably say no. It is hard for me to think that
a parent would love their child if they abused them
emotionally, physically, etc. It is also hard for me to believe
that a parent would love their child if they were doing drugs
while they were pregnant or around the child. Yes I think most
parents love their parent, but to say all parents love their child
I would have to disagree.

My Bucket List

• get married
  
• go to Italy, Australia, Greece,
  
• travel to all 50 states
  
• have at least 2 kids of my own: girl: will probably name Hannah Grace
  boy: will probably name Raymond John
  
• own a two story log cabin house
  
• complete college
  
• open my own dance studio
  
• adopt a child possibly 2
  
• own a boat
  
• learn to speak a foreign language fluently
  
• learn a new sport
  

OF ALL THE NEGATIVE THINGS WE HAVE TO SAY TO OURSELVES, GOD HAS A POSITIVE ANSWER …

You say: It’s impossible.

God says: All things are possible. –(Lk.18:27)

You say: I’m too tired.

God says: I will give you rest. –(Mat.11:28-30)

You say: Nobody really loves me.

God says: I love you. –(Jn.3:16; Jn.13:34)

You say: I can’t go on.

God says: My grace is sufficient. –(2Cor.12:9; Psa.91:15)

You say: I can’t figure things out.

God says: I will direct your steps –(Pro.3:5-6)

You say: I can’t do it

God says: You can do all things. –(Phi.4:13)

You say: I’m not able.

God says: I am able.–(2Cor.9:8 )

You say: It’s not worth it.

God says: It will be worth it.–(Rom.8:28 )

You say: I can’t forgive myself.

God says: I forgive you. –(1Jn.1:9; Rom.8:1)

You say: I can’t manage.

God says: I will supply all your needs. –(Phi.4:19)

You say: I’m afraid.

God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear. –(2Tim.1:7)

You say: I’m always worried and frustrated.

God says: Cast all your cares on Me. –(1Pet.5:7)

You say: I don’t have enough faith.

God says: I’ve given everyone a measure of faith. –(Rom.12:3)

You say: I’m not smart enough.

God says: I give you wisdom. –(1Cor.1:30)

You say: I feel all alone.

God says: I will never leave you or forsake you. –(Heb.13:5)

Santa Clause

To me Santa Clause is not an important part of Christmas. I feel like he takes away from the real meaning of Christmas, and therefore I would prefer not to teach my children about him. I feel like a child does not need to be lied to but then again what about the Easter bunny, Tooth fairy, Halloween and all those other holidays, should I let my children participate in those? I want my children to grow up knowing and fully understanding God, and I feel like they might get confused and be distracted by also being taught about Santa Clause. I do not want my children associating Santa Clause with Jesus because they are nothing alike. I know that children need to have fantasies and need to be allowed to be kids, but at the same time I do not to be putting lies into their heads, or having them associate the man in the red suite to Jesus. I think that I would tell them about St.Nicholas, but that I would not give them presents from Santa. I also would hate for my children to start thinking that if their parents lie to them about who gives them gifts, what else they might be lying to me about. When I get the opportunity to be a parent I believe that I will probably set up the tradition of having my children write a thank you letter to Jesus and a wish list for the upcoming year, we would also have a birthday celebration for Jesus either the night before Christmas or that day, and they would of course help decorate a Christmas tree, and hang stockings. Even though Christmas trees and stockings do not fall into the true meaning of Christmas I will still partake in that part of Christmas, so that my children can experience the religious side of Christmas as well as most of the cultural side.

Secuirty in God

Go watch my video testimony at:
http://vimeo.com/15379985