Hope

It is hard to have hope when it seems like everything is falling apart, but there is someone that can give you hope through everything and that individual is Jesus. Jesus is not only a Savior, but a friend, Father, He is Everything. For He came for us, He came to take away our sins, He came to show us how to be more like Him and much more. Without the Savior there wouldn’t be hope, love, life, joy, a future,…..we wouldn’t be here without HIM. There have been many times were I didn’t have hope, because of what was going around me, and I didn’t but my faith and trust in God. When my brother was diagnosed with his condition I didn’t know what my family was going to do. I didn’t know what my parents were going to decide for Raymond. When my brother has his first open heart surgery I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I had no idea what to expect, and I had no idea why God was allowing this to happen to my brother. God is a healer and I kept thinking if He is such a powerful and mighty God why wont He just heal him right now, and stop all of his pain. It was hard watching my brother lay in a hospital bed weeks after weeks and not open his eyes or barley move. Then when my sister and I had to come home from Michigan to go to school and not be with our brother it was hard to just not be around him every day. When my brother came home for the first time it was an experience in itself. We were reunited as a family again, and we started to be a family again. Just having my brother in the house was a miracle in itself, and we got to see him smile, and fall in love with us. There were many struggles that our family had to learn how to deal with, such as keeping up with all of his medications, trying not to have him cry because it is already hard enough for him to breath, and then we had to deal with a feeding tube. I loved the time that I got to feed my brother because it was one on one bonding time with him, and even though it was hard because I had to hold the bottle above my head so it would go into the tube the right way. Our family had to give up many things when our brother came home but we did it because we love him, and he means a lot to us. We stopped going to our church Crossroads Fellowship because there were a lot of individuals that attended and we couldn’t risk getting an illness that we could bring home to him, because it could have possibly killed him. Raymond was able to accomplish many things that doctors never imagined he would have been able to. Raymond later had 2 more open heart surgeries and the third stage (his third operation) had to be reversed (which was his fourth open heart surgery). Raymond ended up having to learn everything over again after either his third and fourth surgery, which included everything from sitting up. Raymond had been able to sit up, stand, walk, run, talk, sing, site bible verses, eat on his own, and other small task, but after the 3/4^th surgery he wasn’t able to do any of those tasks till weeks after he home, and even then he had not fully mastered them. It is amazing what God can accomplish and the plans that He has and that medical individuals are able to operate on such small hearts, which is only possible by God. Raymond over time was able to gain back all the skills that he had lost after the operations, and almost 2 years later the third surgery was done again, and this time it was successful, and he came home quicker than he normally did. Raymond was able to go to kindergarten and he completed the year and he was on track. Raymond started and complete at least a week in First Grade, before he got the H1N1 virus, and was hospitalized at the beginning of September. He was then put on full life support a couple days after, and was on it for almost a full month and had to come off because there were bubbles in the machine and he had to come off. At that time it seemed like God wasn’t there, but in fact He was and had always been, because Raymond was still alive. We were all surprised that he survived coming off life support because he had failed many of the test runs before, but right before they took him off are whole family got together and prayed, and of course God answered, because He always does. Raymond was able to open all of his Christmas presents on his own, and he spoke to us and was involved and showing us that he was still himself. Raymond was later transported to Levine Children’s hospital and he was there for a month. When he came home for the first time after being in the hospital since September, he was able to walk into the house on his own which was a miracle. To see him walk into the house on his own gave me faith that everything was going to be alright with Raymond and with my life. Raymond has been back in forth in the hospital several times and he was transported to Michigan to try and get a new heart, but because he has so many organs failing he is unable to get a new heart, and the doctors are trying to get him ready to come home to try and recover at home till he can hopefully get a new heart. I never truly understand how God is always around, how he can give us hope, and everything we want until recently. I discovered that you can only fully yourself when you realize that God created you in His image and He created everyone perfectly. God also allowed me to forgive my father for past events that occurred over 10 years ago, and by doing this I came closer to God and was happier with myself. When we trust and have faith in God he shows us His plan and He gives us peace about everything that is going to occur. We may think that some situations are horrible but they occur for a reason and good things come out of every situation.